點心女孩的生活雜記 Trivia of Life (寫作及批改範例)
我是一個甜點愛好者，幾乎吃遍了台北大街小巷的點心，只要是美食節目或雜誌有介紹的，我絕不會錯過。我因為喜愛甜食而不經意地結交一些甜點同好，朋友間會彼此介紹哪裡有好吃的點心, 哪裡的點心特別精緻，或哪裡的點心經濟實惠等等。最特別的是，我的這些朋友不僅喜歡吃， 也吃出品味及心得，有幾個甚至成為網路部落客。還記得當我還是甜點初學者時，有個朋友交我如何品嚐提拉米蘇，由上而下一層一層的品嚐，享受表面特殊的酒香，到提拉米蘇的精華，感到馬斯卡邦乳酪的綿密口感及乳香，最後一定要大口地品嚐，體驗味覺的整體搭配性。一想到這，我就開始留口水了。當我越用心品嚐甜點，我就越能感受到師傅的用心，慢慢地我竟然開始珍貴食材及大自然的可貴。不能再說了，這種有感觸通常是老化的象徵。最後，我想說的是，到貴婦百貨買一小片價值180元的甜點不算奢侈，奢侈的是不懂地慢慢享受甜點的美。
I am a dessert lover. I have been visited all dessert shops at every corner in Taipei city. Especially, I have never ignored the desserts which were introduced on TV cuisine program and on the cuisine magazine. Due to this special interest, surprisingly I have made several good friends who are also dessert lovers. We will share the information of where we can buy the best tasty desserts, and where we can buy the best refined desserts, and where we can buy the most economic desserts. Some of them have even become professional bloggers who are specialized in promoting good desserts via the Internet in a subtle way. As I remembered, one of my friends who taught me how to taste Tiramisu, from the top layer to the middle and then to the bottom layer. Enjoy the special flavor of wine on the top and feel the best part of Tiramisu, the texture of Mascarpone cheese and its milk flavor. After these, the final part is to have a big bite of the dessert to feel the overall taste. Speak to here, I am starting to swallow. When I delicate myself more in finding good things of desserts, I can sense more the dedication from chefs. And I become more cherish the food and natural resource. I will stop here of speaking my feeling. Often, this feeling is happened to people who are gradually turning old. At the end, I want to say that it is not too luxury to get a small piece of desserts from a high-end shopping mall. However, it is too luxury to eat the dessert with empty feeling forward the desserts.
(寫作及批改範例)
(1) I am a dessert lover.
(2) I have been visited all dessert shops at every corner in Taipei city.
I have visited all dessert shops at every corner in the Taipei city.
(3) Especially, I have never ignored the desserts which were introduced on TV cuisine program and on the cuisine magazine.
Especially, I have tried not to miss the desserts (which were) introduced on TV cuisine programs and in the cuisine magazines.
(4) Due to this special interest, surprisingly I have made several good friends who are also dessert lovers.
(5) We will share the information of where we can buy the best tasty desserts, and where we can buy the best refined desserts, and where we can buy the most economic desserts.
We will share the information of where to buy the tastiest and most refined desserts with ecomomic prices.
(6) Some of them have even become professional bloggers who are specialized in promoting good desserts via the Internet in a subtle way.
Some of them even turn into hired professional bloggers for commercial companies acting as if they were just ordinary people blogging.
(7) As I remembered, one of my friends who taught me how to taste Tiramisu, from the top layer to the middle and then to the bottom layer.
I remember one of my friends taught me how to taste Tiramisu – from the top layer, the middle and then down to the bottom.
(8) Enjoy the special flavor of wine on the top and feel the best part of Tiramisu, the texture of Mascarpone cheese and its milk flavor.
On the top, first saver the special flavor of wine. Then feel the best part of Tiramisu, the texture of Mascarpone cheese and its milky flavor.
(9) After these, the final part is to have a big bite of the dessert to feel the overall taste.
After these, the final part is to have a big bite of it to feel the overall taste.
(10) Speak to here, I am starting to swallow.
My mouh is watering thinking about it.
(11) When I delicate myself more in finding good things of desserts, I can sense more the dedication from chefs.
I also find that the more I put myself into a kind of dessert, the more I understand the chefs’ efforts – the enticing looks, the taste.
(12) And I become more cherish the food and natural resource.
And I further cherish more about the ingredients of foods and natural resources.
(13) I will stop here of speaking my feeling. Often, this feeling is happened to people who are gradually turning old.
I will stop here talking about my feeling. Often, this feeling happens to people who are gradually getting old.
(14) At the end, I want to say that it is not too luxury to get a small piece of desserts from a high-end shopping mall. However, it is too luxury to eat the dessert with empty feeling forward the desserts.
In the end, I want to say that it is not too luxurious to get a small piece of dessert from a high-end shopping mall. However, it is indeed a waste to eat a piece of delicate dessert with empty feeling.
